Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

'Wear Sunscreen' is the common names of an essay titled "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune as a column in 1997, but often erroneously attributed to a commencement speech by author Kurt Vonnegut. The most popular and well-known form of the essay is the successful music single "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)"





"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99; If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…



I will dispense this advice now.



Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind;

You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself

And recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you

And how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts,

don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy;

Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long,

And in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…

The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,

Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t,

Maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t,

Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…

What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either

Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body,

Use it every way you can…

Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,

It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance

Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle;

Because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths,

Prices will rise, politicians will philander,

You too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse;

But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the

ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…"

Bhaago Bhoot Aaya

no matter what people say,i liked Ragini MMS. agreed, i spent the first half of the movie laughing my a*% off, but the second half was interesting to say the least.Publish Post

though i ended up watching the movie by mistake (i was actually keen on watching haunted), i was not totally disappointed. it seemed the script writers tried to get the right the right mix of sex, horror n suspense. so wat do they do? they mix together paranormal activity, the blair witch project, grudge, nightmare on elm street n a cpl o oder classic horror flicks.the movie wasnt scary and the only time i was scared, was wen i reached into my pocket n didnt find my cell

(ok, ok. it was more of shocked dan scared, but still....). i did eventually find it in my oder pocket. and the fact dat the people in the theatre were busy passing comments didnt help either. in fact, their comments were at times more interesting than the movie.

but credit due where it is, the story seemed pretty good, only it dragged on a bit to th end. and i couldnt make sense of the climax.

So here goes the story in short:

guy takes girl out on weekend wid idea of filming der kinky sexcapades to eerie bunglow where his friend has setup cameras.

her friends show up n 1 of em tells dat da house is haunted. frnds leave after experiencing weird activities

creepy things start happenin wen da cpl wanna do der thing.

so after a few sleazy dialogues, sum good over acting, n ghost entering n leaving, everybody dies. the end.....

i wud recommend the movie only for those who are not used to watching horror flicks. it might be scary for newbies, but for ppl like me, give me poltergeist or exorcist any day......

boooo

I GUESS WE REALLY ARE AHEAD OF OUR TIME

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained,

"We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

That's right, they didn't have the green thing in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an Escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the Grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every Time they had to go two blocks.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have The throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy Gobbling machine burning up 220 volts - wind and solar power really Did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always Brand-new clothing.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, Not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric Machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by Working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on Treadmills that operate on electricity.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a Cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They Refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they Replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the Whole razor just because the blade got dull.

Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to School or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not An entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from Satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest Pizza joint.

But they didn't have the green thing back then!

-anonymous

My 24 Honest Hours - a hindsight

i had posted a facebook status update on May 1 2011 sayin 'For 24 hours , I will be completely honest. You can ask me 3 questions, in my 'INBOX ONLY' !No matter what or how crazy they are , I will answer them. You have my full honesty , but I DARE you to put this as your status and see what questions you get.....'

i did not imagine so many people would respond to it. the questions ranged from the personal to down right hilarious. either ways, i was indeed in awe that so many people were actually interested in knowing more about me. this little social experiment did indeed confirm that people no matter how close they are to you, will always have some more questions about you. i answered them with utmost honesty (even if you dont believe it) which kinda made me more aware of myself as well.

here are some of the best ones

wats the most romantic thing you hav ever done?

if u cud kill sumbody & get away from it, who would you kill & y?

wats da 1 thing u regret?

boxers or briefs? (funniest)

where do you get your funny status from?

if u had the power of invisibilty, whose bathroom wud u sneak into?

no. of girls you hav dated?

wats ur take on the whole marriage scenario? (sent da person a whole description)

why did you get into animation?

rate your bargaining skills.

hav u ever spent a night in jail?

do you love me? (most common)

do you seriously love teaching? (ane doubt?)

would you take a bullet for me?

if you were marooned on a desert island, who would you rather hav, ur best frnd or a really hot n slutty girl? (duh...)

MI vs CSK. who wud u really support?

why do you always use sarcasm?

are you a bad boy? (ROFLMAO. wtf....?)

Dissection Of Horror Movies

Almost everyone who knows me knows that I am a horror movie buff. So whenever my friends argue about the paranormal, they seek my opinion as well. We end up discussing which movies are the scariest, which are funny, which have the hottest chicks in them, etc. I had just watched ragini mms n was sharing the story with my friends, when a new comer to these discussions mentioned the twilight series. Imagine the poor things horror when all of us started giving her a tough time to put it up as a horror flick. Now, this is where all you twilight fans have to stop reading n go back to whatever it is you guys do. As for everyone else, here’s what we rambled about.

Newbie wanted to know why we didn’t count twilight as a horror flick when it had vampires and werewolves. If that was the criteria for a horror movie, then scary movie series, vampires suck, teen wolf would all have scared the shit out of us. Never mix romance in horror flicks, it just makes the guys really uncomfortable. Now my oder friend simply put it this way, “Sorry to kill the romance, but if the girl fell in love with the vampire n had sex with him, its necrophilia and if it’s with the werewolf, its beastality….” We kinda let that dialog sink in before bursting out laughing. Even newbie couldn’t control her laughter.

So we decided to make our list of things to do in a horror flick. A few whacked from the net

• NEVER go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out!
• NEVER bathe, especially when in the house alone.
• ALWAYS check the back seat of your car.
• NEVER follow strange noises. Run in the opposite direction
• NEVER follow your pets to dark creepy places
• When cutlery and furniture start moving across the room on their own, MOVE IMMEDIATELY
• NEVER take “Anything” from the dead.
• NEVER say "Who's there?" Its a death wish.
• NEVER stay in a spot screaming, you are very likely to die!
• If your car runs out of gas at night, NEVER go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
• NEVER venture into a spooky town. If its deserted, it's probably for a good reason.
• ALWAYS be nice to the shy, quiet, unpopular girl/boy in school.
• If your companion is blonde and has big breasts , keep safe distance, she’s gonna get killed soon.
• Kill the person asks to split up. They will eventually get you killed.
• If you come into possession of a strange old artifact and any weirdo warns you to do/not do something, do not do just the opposite in order to demonstrate how silly they are.
• Skeptics are ALWAYS proved wrong in a horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer.
• Children CANNOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed.
• If your kid ever talks to there dolls and says they are after people BELIEVE them.
• NEVER use a Ouija board.
• If you suspect someone has turned to witchcraft, become their friend.
• If you're being chased by a monster and you find one of your friends and they ask "what's wrong?", NEVER stop and try to explain. Just tell them to run. If they're really your friend they'll follow. If not - that's their tough luck.
• If you find a window/door open which you thought was previously closed, NEVER close it. It may be your only way out.
• Never under any circumstances run to the top floor of any building if you are being chased.
• Never walk backwards in a horror movie. The killer will always appear behind you
• Hiding in a closet should always be your last option when running from psycho-maniac
• NEVER get up for a snack or drink after sex. When you return, your GF/BF may not be as you left him/her.
• NEVER utter, “I’lll be right back.” If you do, u probably wont.
• Once you have killed the bad guy NEVER drop the weapon you have just used, no matter how beat down you are.
• NEVER fight the killer, even if you are good. He will always win.
• By chance you knock the killer out, NEVER leave the room to to get somebody because when you come back he will be gone
• NEVER try to pull the mask of the killer when he’s down.
• When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
• Don’t wait till everyone else is dead before you send the ghost back to hell or kill the psycho

Most Important

• Listen closely to the soundtrack and pay attention to the audience.

Finishing off with the guys from The Big Bang Theory discussing vampires and zombies

Raj: Here’s what I wonder about zombies: what happens if they can’t get any human flesh to eat? They can’t starve to death, they’re already dead.

Howard: You take this one. I spent an hour last night on ‘How do vampires shave if they can’t see themselves in the mirror?’

Sheldon: Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other, case closed!

ONE BEDROOM FLAT...

I recieved this in an email and i kinda liked it.


As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true..

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange
rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to Indiaso that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting Indiawas a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to Indiato settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA...

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India..... My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India... I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes, I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India, had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS. DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE
START LIVING IT LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE

The same people? By Vir Sanghvi

Few things annoy me as much as the claim often advanced by well-meaning but woolly- headed (and usually Punjabi) liberals to the effect that when it comes to India and Pakistan, "We're all the same people, yaar." This may have been true once upon a time. Before 1947, Pakistan was part of undivided India and you could claim that Punjabis from West Punjab (what is now Pakistan) were as Indian as, say, Tamils from Madras. But time has a way of moving on. And while the gap between our Punjabis (from east Punjab which is now the only Punjab left in India) and our Tamils may actually have narrowed, thanks to improved communications, shared popular culture and greater physical mobility, the gap between Indians and Pakistanis has now widened to the extent that we are no longer the same people in any significant sense.

This was brought home to me most clearly by two major events over the last few weeks. The first of these was the attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team on the streets of Lahore. In their defence, Pakistanis said that they were powerless to act against the terrorists because religious fanaticism was growing. Each day more misguided youngsters joined jihadi outfits and the law and order situation worsened. Further, they added, things had got so bad that in the tribal areas the government of Pakistan had agreed to suspend the rule of law under pressure from the Taliban and had conceded that sharia law would reign instead. Interestingly, while most civilised liberals should have been appalled by this surrender to the forces of extremism, many Pakistanis defended this concession.

Imran Khan (Keble College, Oxford, 1973-76) even declared that sharia law would be better because justice would be dispensed more swiftly! (I know this is politically incorrect but the Loin of the Punjab's defence of sharia law reminded me of the famous Private Eye cover when his marriage to Jemima Goldsmith was announced. The Eye carried a picture of Khan speaking to Jemima's father. "Can I have your daughter's hand?" Imran was supposedly asking James Goldsmith. "Why? Has she been caught shoplifting? " Goldsmith replied. So much for sharia law.) The second contrasting event was one that took place in Los Angeles but which was perhaps celebrated more in India than in any other country in the world. Three Indians won Oscars: A.R. Rahman, Resul Pookutty and Gulzar. Their victory set off a frenzy of rejoicing. We were proud of our countrymen. We were pleased that India 's entertainment industry and its veterans had been recognized at an international platform. And all three men became even bigger heroes than they already were. But here's the thing: Not one of them is a Hindu.

Can you imagine such a thing happening in Pakistan? Can you even conceive of a situation where the whole country would celebrate the victory of three members of two religious minorities? For that matter, can you even imagine a situation where people from religious minorities would have got to the top of their fields and were, therefore, in the running for international awards? On the one hand, you have Pakistan imposing sharia law, doing deals with the Taliban, teaching hatred in madrasas, declaring jihad on the world and trying to kill innocent Sri Lankan cricketers. On the other, you have the triumph of Indian secularism.

The same people? Surely not.

We are defined by our nationality. They choose to define themselves by their religion. But it gets even more complicated. As you probably know, Rahman was born Dilip Kumar. He converted to Islam when he was 21. His religious preferences made no difference to his prospects. Even now, his music cuts across all religious boundaries. He's as much at home with Sufi music as he is with bhajans. Nor does he have any problem with saying 'Vande Mataram'. Now, think of a similar situation in Pakistan. Can you conceive of a Pakistani composer who converted to Hinduism at the age of 21 and still went on to become a national hero? Under sharia law, they'd probably have to execute him. Resul Pookutty's is an even more interesting case. Until you realise that Malayalis tend to put an 'e' where the rest of us would put an 'a,' (Ravi becomes Revi and sometimes the Gulf becomes the Gelf), you cannot work out that his name derives from Rasool, a fairly obviously Islamic name. But here's the point: even when you point out to people that Pookutty is in fact a Muslim, they don't really care. It makes no difference to them. He's an authentic Indian hero, his religion is irrelevant. Can you imagine Pakistan being indifferent to a man's religion? Can you believe that Pakistanis would not know that one of their Oscar winners came from a religious minority? And would any Pakistani have dared bridge the religious divide in the manner Resul did by referring to the primeval power of Om in his acceptance speech?

The same people? Surely not.

Most interesting of all is the case of Gulzar who many Indians believe is a Muslim. He is not. He is a Sikh. And his real name is Sampooran Singh Kalra. So why does he have a Muslim name? It's a good story and he told it on my TV show some years ago. He was born in West Pakistan and came over the border during the bloody days of Partition. He had seen so much hatred and religious violence on both sides, he said, that he was determined never to lose himself to that kind of blind religious prejudice and fanaticism. Rather than blame Muslims for the violence inflicted on his community - after all, Hindus and Sikhs behaved with equal ferocity - he adopted a Muslim pen name to remind himself that his identity was beyond religion. He still writes in Urdu and considers it irrelevant whether a person is a Sikh, a Muslim or a Hindu. Let's forget about political correctness and come clean: can you see such a thing happening in Pakistan? Can you actually conceive of a famous Pakistani Muslim who adopts a Hindu or Sikh name out of choice to demonstrate the irrelevance of religion?

My point, exactly. What all those misguided liberals who keep blathering on about us being the same people forget is that in the 60-odd years since Independence, our two nations have traversed very different paths. Pakistan was founded on the basis of Islam. It still defines itself in terms of Islam. And over the next decade as it destroys itself, it will be because of Islamic extremism. India was founded on the basis that religion had no role in determining citizenship or nationhood. An Indian can belong to any religion in the world and face no discrimination in his rights as a citizen. It is nobody's case that India is a perfect society or that Muslims face no discrimination. But only a fool would deny that in the last six decades, we have travelled a long way towards religious equality. In the early days of independent India, a Yusuf Khan had to call himself Dilip Kumar for fear of attracting religious prejudice. In today's India, a Dilip Kumar can change his name to A.R. Rahman and nobody really gives a damn either way. So think back to the events of the last few months. To the murderous attack on innocent Sri Lankan cricketers by jihadi fanatics in a society that is being buried by Islamic extremism. And to the triumphs of Indian secularism.

Same people?

Don't make me laugh